Let’s face it men and women are different, and we handle infertility differently too!
As Alice Domar shares in Conquering Infertility, women crave babies in a way that men don’t. Our ancient ancestors survived because women bore, raised and protected children, while men went out to slay the dinner.
Although our roles have changed women are still biologically and neurochemically hardwired to want babies in a way that men simply are not.
As Alice Domar shares, you and your spouse may both yearn for a baby, but you yearn differently.
You may both grieve when conception fails or miscarriage occurs, but you grieve differently.
You both may feel depressed by infertility, but you’re depressed differently.
Many women complain that their husbands don’t seem upset about infertility. Men will often own up to feeling disappointed that their wives can’t get pregnant, but for women getting pregnant often becomes an obsession and failure of any kind often sends her into days of depression.
Men’s reaction can seem quite different, with often an apparent lack of emotional response.
The thing is men do feel the pain of infertility, they just deal with it differently. Many men may feel like a failure as a husband, they may feel badly that they can’t make their wives feel better after a failed cycle.
Many women withdraw from their husbands into the world of infertility (by reading copious infertility books, researching the latest vitamin etc) whereas men may retreat to the television or the office.
If any of this resonated with you – there is hope.
Instead of focusing entirely on getting pregnant, concentrate on other parts of your life and relationship that bring you joy.
Take a walk together
Enjoy a romantic dinner
Get together with friends and have a good laugh
Tackle a home improvement project together
Snuggle together and watch a funny movie
The key is to be in the moment and practice mindfulness.
This brings you to the present moment where you can experience clarity and peace.
Pick one activity to do with your spouse today!
Still not sure you can get your relationship back on track by yourself?
Reach out for support. Join a local Infertility Support Group.
Want to chat? Book your Fertility Consultation to get clear on the exact steps to take to get pregnant. For more information check it out here.
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance. Ready to gaze into your baby’s eyes….but struggling. Download 10 step Checklist here