How To Create and Enjoy Intimacy without Penetration
Sep 28, 2021
Perhaps you’ve been trying to grow your family for years. Maybe sex has become a chore, an end to a mean or maybe your sex life is just as vibrant as your first time. Either way, taking a break from penetrative intercourse has benefits. When starting the Fab Fertile program, we actually ask our clients to take a pause on trying to conceive. Why? Because we work together aggressively to draw attention to any obstacles and barriers you face in regards to reaching your ideal health. Oftentimes, this is not the best time to conceive. You will, of course, get the green light again, but what do you do until then?
We’ve gathered our favorite ways to be intimate without the baby making. Honestly, this list is great for any couple at any stage of wellness, healing + growing.
1) 1st, 2nd + 3rd Base! Let’s start with the obvious. Back the truck up to the early days of your relationship. Yes, we aren’t kids anymore but have we totally forgotten how amazing 1st, 2nd and 3rd base felt in the beginning. Remember the electric charge that soared through your body the first time you kissed your love. What about their hand trailing down the curve of your back? Yes please! Kiss, touch, giggle and orgasm! Now if you aren’t familiar with the sexual bases many Americans refer to, here are some definitions:
- First Base = Making Out. When was the last time you and your partner made out? Kiss each other with the deep passion you have for one another and notice how amazing it feels. Leave the quick peck on the cheek for when you have company.
- Second Base = Copping A Feel: Touching over our clothes and everywhere but your sexual organs can really get you going. This can also help you re-explore where your partner enjoys to be touched, what arouses them, and what doesn’t.
- Third Base = Hands in Pants: Whether you choose to be in your birthday suit or keeping your clothes on, when was the last time you pleasured your partner with just your hand?
2) Offer A Massage: We all could benefit from a massage but it is extra special when the person performing your massage is someone you love enough to create a family with! Chances are, you know where you each hold your tension, you are more comfortable sharing with each other what does and doesn’t feel good. Bonus, massaging each other is FREE!
3) Share Your Fantasies: Whether these are sexual fantasies and role playing or life long dreams, talk about what you each yearn for! What are your deepest desires? What gets you excited? Share!
4) Talk to Each Other: One of the coolest things our coaches notice while clients are going through our program is how moving through the hard stuff, doing the work to heal their mind, bodies, and souls, our couples become closer and closer. A little talking goes a long way! Whether you talk about what would have happened if you met 20 years earlier in life or share about your day, all communication is worthy!
5) Cook Together: Cooking can feel like a straining chore, especially when one partner is carrying the weight. Pick a night of the week to complete the entire process from choosing the dishes to shopping, prepping, and cooking together. Celebrate each other’s strengths instead of focusing on any challenges. Remember, you are a team!
6) Share Your Gratitude: Practicing gratitude has the power to literally change our neural pathways! But even more magic happens when we reflect on what we are grateful for each day with our partners. When you go to bed each night, tell each other 3 things you are grateful for. Get specific and accept what your partner shares. Who knows, they may say something that shocks you and fills you with joy.
7) Dance Your Hearts Out: When was the last time you danced together? Since COVID came into our lives, if you were dancing at bars or while you were out and about, that has likely taken a turn. Take turns picking songs and host a party for 2 right in your living room.
8) Grant Your Lover A Yes Day: You may have seen parents giving their kids yes days based on the 2021 movie. But, what would it look like if you let your spouse plan an entire day based on exactly what they wanted to do? What if you did things that brought them immense joy? And then, what if they did the same for you? Give it a try! It is nearly guaranteed that you will laugh, smile, and discover something new about each other.
The bigger message here is that there are thousands of things you and your love can do to bring yourselves closer together. There is no right or wrong way. There is only your way. This list is just here to kickstart your imagination. Some other ideas from our clients:
- Plan a monthly or weekly date
- Plan a date that doesn’t involve a meal
- Play board games
- Take a nightly walk together to decompress
- Find a relationship workbook and complete it together in phases
- Create a scrapbook with a service like Shutterfly
The Fab Fertile team is excited to see what this journey brings you both! Have fun! To learn more about how the Fab Fertile Method can help improve your chances of getting pregnant naturally, apply here. We’ll come up with a plan specifically designed for your situation.