Powerful Techniques To Deal With The Strong Emotions Of Infertility
Jan 21, 2017
Letting Worry Go
As human beings, it is our conditioned response to worry.
When something doesn’t go as planned, worry has the capacity to take over.
Worry that things will never be as we want them to be.
Worry that our next cycle won’t be successful.
Worry that we will never be parents.
If worrying was helpful then I would say worry.
But let’s try something else.
Let’s try to consciously not worry.
Let’s not anticipate.
Let’s try to let worry go.
How is worrying serving us?
Worry is a joy and energy sucker.
The problem with worry is that once we start, it can be hard to stop.
The first step letting go of worrying, is to slowly and steadily weed it out.
Allotting a twenty minute worry time can create the very space needed to push through a worry free day.
As you note worries throughout the day, consciously telling yourself, gently and compassionately, to hold off on worry, until it’s time.
This will start to create a break and some relief from the constant worries. Bringing ourselves back to the present moment helps the worried mind.
Mind-body exercises such as the body scan or grounding can move us from our head into our hearts.
Try NOT to compare yourself to others.
The grass is not greener on the other side, but greener where and WHEN you water it.
The root of comparison is envy.
Envy is a condition that is intrinsic to human beings.
It is VERY natural to feel envious of someone who has something that you want.
Something you may be struggling to have.
It’s important not to be too hard on yourself for having these feelings. I
In fact, that’s half the battle, dealing with the negative feelings that are associated with feeling envious.
“I wish I didn’t feel this way.” “Why can’t I be happy for her?” “Why is this happening to me?”
We need to be gentle with ourselves so we can create a space of self understanding, compassion and self-love.
It’s also helpful to remind ourselves that our feelings of jealousy really have nothing to do with the other person and a lot to do with us.
Sometimes our minds will make us think that is is about the other and carry us into a dramatic story.
Noticing the jealousy and negative feelings and and letting them rise and then fall, is what is can loosen their power.
We all have a default state and Mindfulness takes us off default and back into the present moment.
When we are struggling with infertility, we can get further trapped in our default state experiencing negative and judgmental self talk.
Mindfulness allows us to change our relationship to the infertility experience, giving us room to respond to what’s happening as opposed to react.
With practice, Mindfulness can shift the way we experience stress and difficult situations.
There will always be a movie in the mind, however the movie isn’t always true.
It’s important we stick with the truth and not react to everything that arises.
Mindfulness helps us to see the clear picture of what’s happening and not to get stuck in self doubt.
When we are down on ourselves, feeling deficient, less than, or in yearning mode our perspective is obscured. Bringing mindful attention to all that is happening allows for a big picture to emerge.
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Thank you to Amira Posner, professional therapist for her guest blog! Amira is the facilitator of an in person mind body fertility program in a hospital setting. Learn more about Amira’s offerings and work here!
I am excited to announce that I have teamed up with Amira to launch our online Mindfulness Fertility Series.
Learn more here about how you can reclaim the person you were before you started started trying. Join the waitlist to be notified of upcoming sessions.
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance. Join the Free Fab Fertile Support Group on Facebook for mini-challenges, motivation and inspiration!