I am excited to interview Spenser Brassard for my blog! She is a life coach and life lover who is changing what it means to have a baby. Spenser is shifting how we see our fertility journey. She believes that not getting pregnant when you want is a blessing and an opportunity to fall in love with yourself and your life for once and for all! We’re digging into mind body solutions to support your fertility journey.
Before she became a life coach she felt trapped, stuck and unsure about her past present and future. She knows exactly what it is like to struggle with infertility and is on the journey to conceive, just like the women she coaches.
She is excited to help women create their own world. Help them learn lessons from the old stories that have been holding them back from living their fullest lives.
Many women dealing with infertility ask the question, “Why is this happening to me?”
As Spenser shares, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. So often many of us on this journey to conceive feel so alone. While these feelings are normal, we may stop connecting with people.
Our subconscious mind is so powerful! The mind directs the body. When we say “no” to life, we are inadvertently saying “no” to pregnancy.
It’s not our fault though!
It’s time to become the observer of our thoughts. When a painful thought comes up, instead of pushing it aside, allow yourself to feel that thought.
What we resist tends to persist and what we embrace dissolves.
The more we resist those painful thoughts, the more the thought infiltrates our mind and subconscious.
Slowly let go of that resistance. Feel the thought in your body until it passes.
These thoughts simply want to be heard and seen!
As we practice acceptance, the pressure of trying to be perfect or in control begins to lift.
By doing this exercise we naturally become more present.
After all, being present is not wishing things were different.Not worrying about the future or ruminating about the past.
Life is full of ordinary moments and when we are always chasing the next thing, we miss out on the joy of right now!
Mind Body Compass is one of Spenser’s favourite tools to use!
1) Imagine a difficult time in your life – where do you feel the thought – Does your stomach feel nauseous? Do your shoulders feel heavy? Is your chest falling in? Write down how you feel
2) Imagine a great time in your life – where do you feel that thought – Does your stomach feel light or have butterflies? Are your shoulders back and do you feel confident?Does your chest open? Write down how you feel
Body Compass for Fertility
Negative Thought – e.g. you worry that you’ll never become pregnant – you may feel tight, the body closes down, your thoughts start to close down
Positive Thought – e.g. you see yourself holding your baby in your arms – you may feel more open, the body feels lighter, more present
Time to reframe your experience.
This is your time for some Pre-Parenting Prep!
Choose this time to reflect on becoming a parent, a more conscious parent!
You get to choose what you want to focus on! What gets you excited? What makes your body feel light?
Use the body compass tool to really listen to what your body is telling you.
Many of going through infertility may feel very guilty and alone.
Many of us struggling with infertility may not even have told anyone that we are struggling.
We avoid feeling vulnerable, because it’s scary!
As Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly shares, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
Sometimes facing the pain is well…just too painful!
We may feel guarded.
This may be due to our upbringing, maybe we never saw our parents cry, or show emotion.We may have inadvertently learned that it’s not okay to express ourselves.
Spenser shares that there is beauty in the pain! Being vulnerable is one of our greatest gifts and is the gateway to courage and compassion.
Before you make a change, sometime resistance likes to show up – taking you off track!
Sit with the resistance – allow yourself to become uncomfortable.
It’s okay to feel sad.
It’s okay to feel angry!
Allow yourself to be heard!
Allow yourself to feel.
Meditation can be very helpful and adding in affirmations such as these can help us access those “yes” feeling – feeling more open and more present.
Sit in a comfortable secure place and recite one of these affirmations:
I am loved.
I love myself.
I am connected.
I am in the flow.
Allow yourself to be guided and give control over to a Higher Power, God or the Universe, whatever feels right for you.
Visualization is another powerful tool! Be sure to download our free Guided Fertility Visualization.
Sit in a comfortable and secure place.
Feel your baby in your stomach or your womb.
Wrap this visualization in a pink bubble.
Watch it float away
This symbolizes letting go – letting go of “how” it will happen.
Allow yourself to be guided and give control over to a Higher Power, God or the Universe, whatever feels right for you.
Some resources that Spenser loves are:
Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown
Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A course In Miracles – Marianne Williamson
Conversations with God – Neale Donald Walsch
Favourite App
Thanks to Spenser Brassard for her words of wisdom! What are you going to say yes to today? Visit Spencer’s website to learn more! Be sure to check out our Mindfulness Fertility Series and our Online Yoga Fertility Series to help you cope and ultimately thrive with the emotions surrounding infertility.
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance. Join the Free Fab Fertile Support Group on Facebook for mini-challenges, motivation and inspiration!
