This blog is going to be a little different than most of our others. We are going to get vulnerable, real and tender. Because it’s time to share why abundance matters and where the heck it went when we started trying to have our babies.
Want to get pregnant this year? Grab your copy of the Ultimate Guide To Getting Pregnant This Year With Low AMH/High FSH.
It is time to talk about not believing we have enough money, time, or eggs and how if one more person tells us how their friends cousin's best friend got pregnant when she just simply stopped trying makes us want to rip their heads off. The question is, are you ready to go there? Are you ready to change your mindset in order to get closer to your baby?
My Path To Abundance
The experiences that I am about to share are from my journey. I am Samantha Coffin, fertility coach living with infertility for the past 6+ years. I’ve been there, mama. I am still here. Yup, I help other women get pregnant and I am still on the path to my own baby.
I was sick my entire childhood with symptoms that are often considered “normal” but I now know are just common. Belly aches, painful bowel movements, acid reflux, skin bumps, rashes and probably more I have mentally tucked away ran my life. At 18 I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and Lyme Disease just six months apart and for the first time I realized my fertility may be in jeopardy. I was only 18. I continued to get sick and after 4 years of trying to have our baby, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis and PCOS.
I share this because it would be easy for me to give up, give in and live a very sad, isolated and pessimistic life. Yet the voice of the little girl in me that always knew she wanted to be a mom says, “we’ve got this” over and over again and I want to share with you how I have kept that voice alive.
Think About It
Let these 3 quotes sink in for a minute. Maybe read them outloud to yourself.
- “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right” - Henry Ford
- “Energy flows where attention goes” - Tony Robbins
- “Your life is as good as your mindset”
Deciding my diagnoses were a life sentence or that I would never get pregnant meant I was attracting more of the same thoughts. I would go deeper and deeper into the negativity, the sadness, depression, anxiety. I would feel like I failed, was worthless.
Or, I could see these as challenges and believe that our baby wasn’t ready to arrive yet, giving us time to build the perfect world for her, including her first home, my body.
Abundance Mindset
There is tons of research out there that displays the power of having an abundance mindset. People with an abundance mindset are:
- Happy for other
- More likely to embrace change
- Grateful and appreciative
- Not resentful of missed opportunities because they know more are coming
- Aware that there is enough to go around and they are worthy
“An abundance mindset can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but….abundance mindset [can] develop and shine through.” - happiness.com
Where To Start
Start incorporating these 5 practices into your life and if you have to “fake it til you make it”. These activities literally change the neurological pathways in your brain!
- Recognize the power of your thoughts: When you are practicing negative self talk, stop and do a body scan. Are your shoulders up near your ears, are you slouched over, does your belly hurt? When you think negatively about your diagnosis, what happens in your physical body? What happens when a small work stress comes your way or your spouse asks for your help with something? Are you short tempered? Your job here is just to notice.
- Practice Daily Gratitude: Whether you do this solo in a journal or as a nightly routine with your partner, practice daily gratitude. It is important to get specific. Don’t just say “I am grateful for my dog,” and try something like “ I am grateful for my dog because when my period came this morning, he was there to cuddle and love me”. Feel the difference? Now it's time to decide on a routine. Will you write down 3 things you are grateful for each morning or share them with your loved one at dinner or before bed? You decide.
- Reframe your words: When you notice your mindset, our your partners going to the dark side, try to take it from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
- Fixed Mindset: I will never remember to take all my supplements
- Growth Mindset: Each time I take my supplements, I am helping my body heal.
Can you feel the difference there? Fixed mindset makes you want to give up while a growth mindset shows you are making progress!
- Learn something new: When you have a growth mindset, you crave growth! What better way is there to grow than to learn something new. When you are learning something new, you can get it wrong and need an attitude of openness and enthusiasm! What is something you’ve always wanted to try? I bought a ukulele!
- Speak Daily Affirmations: Put post-its all around your house. Place them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, by your front door, in your wallet, make one the screensaver on your phone. The point here is to surround yourself with growth minded statements that you may not yet believe but you want to believe. Here are some my clients have created.
- My cycle is improving every month
- I trust my body will get pregnant
- I am happy and healthy
- I have the power to change my story
- I am proud of myself
- My body is ready for pregnancy
- I am worthy of becoming a mom
- I am a great mother
I challenge you to incorporate these practices into your life on your fertility journey and even beyond! The skills you will learn in practicing these are useful for everyone!
Remember:
- There is enough money, time and eggs
- You are enough
Want to get pregnant this year? Grab your copy of the Ultimate Guide To Getting Pregnant This Year With Low AMH/High FSH.
Blog by Samantha Coffin - Fertility Coach at Fab Fertile
