How These Lessons Can Help You When You Are TTC
Feb 16, 2021
Today I’m welcoming Jennifer Robertson to the podcast!
We’re digging into lessons learned from the fertility journey.
Jennifer Robertson is a fertility coach and has helped women all over the world transform their mindset and take back control of their life in the midst of infertility.
She is also the author of The Injustice of Infertility, a true account of her own seven-year fertility journey.
Throughout her own fertility journey, Jen discovered that her old ways of pushing and working hard weren’t serving her. She is now using the lessons learned along the way to develop programs and support those who are still struggling to conceive.
If someone told me there were valuable life lessons I would learn from the fertility journey – when I was right in the middle of the struggle – I probably would have told them where to go.
And it may be easy to share these lessons when we’re on the other side of the journey but we share them because maybe you can see some of yourself in our story.
What I know for sure is this journey will force us to look at the hard stuff like impatience, our controlling nature, our need to plan it all out, the frustration when it doesn't go the way we imagined, and heartbreak month after month. Most women tell me one of the most painful parts of the TTC journey is the overwhelming feeling that we’re behind as everyone else moves forward with their lives.
We can let this journey consume us or we can begin to reframe it so we can visualize a positive outcome.
If you can see your patterns that are the first step towards changing the story (after all you are not the voice in your head).
So how do we move forward on our own terms so that we can feel empowered and hopeful as we prepare for pregnancy success?
In this episode you'll learn:
1) The biggest lessons learned from the journey so that you don’t waste time doing the wrong things that don’t get you closer to pregnancy success.
2) Why this journey is so hard and all-consuming and how to realize you are NOT your fertility journey.
3) What do if you have a picture in your head of how you would conceive your baby and now it is completely different?
4) What happens when we don’t grieve and why confronting our fears and hard emotions allows us to take back control.
5) Steps to move forward so that we can approach this journey on our own terms.
05:01- INTRO TO TODAY'S EPISODE AND JENNIFER ROBERTSON’S BIO
05:55- JENNIFER’S FERTILITY STORY
- Miscarriages, IVF’s, journey in surrogacy
09:44- INTRO TO LESSONS LEARNED IN THE FERTILITY JOURNEY
10:45- THE GRIEF AND TRAUMA OF INFERTILITY
- Feeling like you need to “suck it up” and are a failure
- The reality and weight of the fertility journey
- “If you view it as trauma, it is.”
14:28- THE ROLE OF PERSONALITY AND BEING “TYPE-A”
- The belief that “working harder” only is what gives you results
- “You are not producing a baby, you are creating a baby.”
- “There is so much extra power in slowing down.”
- Letting go of control in uncertain circumstances.
- The temptation to “rank” pain and not feeling like you have the right to feel
- Being grateful but still wanting more
21:48- LEARNING TO ASK FOR HELP
- Taking a big picture perspective and understanding you are in a season
- Not being CONSUMED with infertility and finding balance
- Different ways that built up emotions can manifest (anger, overworking, etc)
- The fear of dealing with your emotions
29:46- STRESS MANIFESTING AS OVERPLANNING/CONTROL
- Dealing with the feeling of no control over surrogacy
- “There is so much extra power in slowing down.”
33:44- STRUGGLING WITH COMPARISON
- Why searching for “the reason” can lead “us down a slippery slope”
- “You don’t have anything to prove. You don’t have to be the hero.”
- Developing healthy boundaries and saying ‘no’
37:17- WHAT HAPPENS IF WE ARE NOT DEALING WITH OUR GRIEF
- “Grief is the heaviest thing we will ever have to carry”
- Why grief is not linear and more like a “ping-pong ball”
- The importance of identifying what we are feeling
- “Emotions were created for us to feel them.”
- “Grief is about giving yourself permission to feel.”
- Unhealthy ways we try to cope with our grief
- Acknowledging how amazing your body is even in the midst of infertility
- Getting to a place where you can enjoy your life right now, not just when you have your baby
48:10- FAVORITE RESOURCES
51:04- SUCCESS STORY
Download a free chapter of - The Injustice Of Infertility- https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/pl/232854
Sponsored by Fab Fertile Store. Ensure your preconception supplements are free from dyes, filler, and top allergens. Check out our basic recommendations that are essential for preconception health. Visit https://www.fabfertilestore.
Book your free Supercharge Your Fertility Discovery call. We’ll come up with a simple plan to help you move forward…towards your dream of having your baby.
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