How To Cope With The Silent Struggle Of Secondary Infertility

Feb 08, 2024

How To Cope With The Silent Struggle Of Secondary Infertility

In the symphony of life, we are often taught to expect a certain rhythm - a cadence of milestones that seamlessly unfold as we move forward. Among these anticipated moments, the expansion of a family is frequently celebrated, almost as if it were a given. However, life, as we know, is far from predictable, and for those battling secondary infertility, the painful discord between expectation and reality can be deafening.

So many of us with a low AMH and/or High FSH diagnosis were able to conceive our first child "on the first try" or very easily.  While our journey for our second child proves to be more difficult (often receiving a diminished ovarian reserve or premature ovarian insufficiency diagnosis).  Check out the themes we see with secondary infertility so you can be your own health advocate and get to the bottom of why it's not working.

Dealing with secondary infertility is equally as difficult as primary infertility. If you visualize another child in your family, but it’s not working this is heartbreaking and often we feel the added pressure to give our child a sibling. 

The ache of secondary infertility is a silent struggle, a narrative often drowned out by well-meaning voices exclaiming, "At least you have one." While gratitude for our existing blessings is crucial, it does not diminish the deep yearning for another child, nor does it negate the trauma that comes with the unexpected challenges of conceiving again.

In a world that often measures success by tangible outcomes, the emotional toll of secondary infertility can be isolating. Society tends to underestimate the emotional complexity of this journey, assuming that because you've already welcomed a healthy child, the desire for more must be a mere luxury rather than a legitimate need. But the pain is real, and the dreams of expanding your family are just as valid as anyone else's.

It's essential to recognize that your pain and your joy can coexist. Your journey is uniquely yours, a tapestry woven with the threads of both elation and heartache. It's okay to celebrate the milestones of your first child while mourning the hurdles of trying for another. The duality of emotions is not a contradiction but a testament to the depth of your experience.

Finding a supportive community is paramount in navigating the labyrinth of secondary infertility. Joining groups like our Get Pregnant Naturally with low AMH and/or High FSH Facebook group provides a safe space to share your truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. Connecting with others who understand the intricacies of your journey can be a lifeline, reminding you that you are not alone in your struggles.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-compassion. Whether it's declining invitations to baby showers or gently deflecting inquiries about your family planning, you have the right to protect your heart and mind. Your decisions and the timing of your family expansion are deeply personal choices, and you owe no one an explanation.

Allow yourself the grace to feel all the emotions that come with secondary infertility. Celebrate the joy and happiness your first child brings, acknowledge the heartbreak of negative test results, and be honest about the overwhelming tug at your heart for another child. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, and each one is a valid expression of your journey.

Comparison is the thief of joy, especially in the realm of fertility struggles. Your path is unique, and nothing is gained by measuring it against someone else's. Your body and mind are undergoing a profound experience, and every emotion you feel is valid.

Above all, remember that you are worthy of the child you are yearning for. Your wish for them to find their way to you is a powerful affirmation of the love and dedication you have to offer. In a world that may struggle to fully understand, stand firm in the belief that your journey, with all its twists and turns, is a testament to your resilience and strength.

 Let’s connect and talk about how the Fab Fertile Program could help you and your partner achieve pregnancy success! Book your free 15 minute call here.